31 December 2005

The Burden of a Blessing

An odd sort of problem.

Having negotiated with my office to work half time,
(originally thinking to follow a certain path that now doesn't feel right)
I find myself with quite a bit of flexible time,
even after the daily seder that I have been keeping,
there are hours, hours, left open.

What should I do?

I have too often touched and tasted the passion that I am capable of to settle for something that is merely good. I have the rare opportunity to do something that I want to do, and I have to admit, I don't know what I want.

Should I fill it up with Torah learning, beyond the seder I already keep? Learn to play an instrument? Focus on writing? Focus on reading? Hike? Bike? Walk? Dance? Drive around the country looking for experience? Volunteer at a hospital? Gemach? Kibbutz? Vineyard? Build up my programming skills? Build a business? Take photographs? Draw in pencil? Settle in to a corner and watch the world go by? Meditate? Ruminate? Learn to lein Torah?

I'd love to do any and all of the above - amazing.
I'm a bit overawed with the potential of this time, of time in general, and don't want to waste it...


MC Aryeh said...

You could do all of those things - one at a time. But if searches that have led to my blog are any indication (and who is to say they aren't!), then your direction is clear. One of my favorite searches that brought someone to A Whispering Soul: cool laizer drawings,

'laizer said...

MCA - I just tried it, and it works!

oishkapipik said...


I think you should take up golf. Its a great sport, if you get really good at it you could turn pro and earn millions.

my bald sheitel said...

Another one - you could learn to be a scribe! I think that would be so cool.

ravyehoshua said...

"uva'u aleicha kol haberachot ha'eleh V"HISIGUCHA" (Devarim 28:2) - I've heard it interpreted - why do the blessings need to OVERTAKE us ("V'hisigucha")? Because we flee from them...

Noblesse Oblige!! Therefore, (Learn to?)do something that will make a difference in circles beyond the immediacy of your own perception, but do it utilizing an aspect of yourself which, through its employ, you bring up/out from the recesses of mere potentiality into the blinding light of the actual. But DO IT! NOw!! and, taking up that long-ago proferred Shabbat invite, come out and tell me about it!!

'laizer said...

oishkapipik & my bald sheitel - Perhaps I can combine the two suggestions, cover a gold ball in ink, and write holy letters all over the world!

Rav Yehushoua - thank you for the words of inspiration.

YM said...

How about asking yourself, "what activities will give me life?" Then choose life.
Yaccov Meyer